In the beginning was the word, and the word was God.
In the beginning
was God, and all else was darkness and void, and without
form. So God created the heavens and the Earth. He created the sun, and the
moon, and the stars, so that light might pierce the darkness. The Earth, God
divided between the land and the sea, and these he filled with many assorted
And the dark,
salty, slimy creatures that inhabited the murky depths of the
oceans, God called sailors. And He dressed them accordingly. They had little
trousers that looked like bells at the bottom. And their shirts had cute
little flaps on them to hide the hickeys on their necks. He also gave them
long sideburns and shabby looking beards. God nicknamed them "squids" and
banished them to a lifetime at sea, so that normal folks would not have to
associate with them. To further identify these unloved creatures, He called
them "petty" and "commodore" instead of titles worthy of red-blooded men.
And the flaky
creatures of the land, God called soldiers. And with a twinkle
in His eye, and a sense of humor that only He could have, God made their
trousers too short and their covers too large. He also made their pockets
oversized, so that they may warm their hands. And to adorn their uniforms,
God gave them badges in quantities that only a dime store owner could
appreciate. And He gave them emblems and crests... and all sorts of shiny
things that glittered...and devices that dangled. (When you are God you tend
to get carried away.)
On the 6th day,
He thought about creating some air creatures for which he
designed a Greyhound bus driver's uniform, especially for Air Force flyboys.
But He discarded the idea during the first week, and it was not until years
later that some apostles resurrected this theme and established what we now
know as the "Wild-Blue-Yonder Wonders."
And on the 7th day, as you know, God rested.
But on the 8th
day, at 0730, God looked down upon the earth and was not
happy. No, God was not happy! So He thought about His labors, and in His
divine wisdom God created a divine creature. And this He called Marine. And
these Marines, who God had created in His own image, were to be of the air,
and of the land, and of the sea. And these He gave many wonderful uniforms.
Some were green; some were blue with red trim. And in the early days, some
were even a beautiful tan. He gave them practical fighting uniforms, so that
they could wage war against the forces of Satan and evil. He gave them
service uniforms for their daily work and training. And He gave them evening
and dress uniforms... sharp and stylish, handsome things... so that they
might promenade with their ladies on Saturday night and impress the hell out
of everybody! He even gave them swords, so that people who were not
impressed could be dealt with accordingly. And at the end of the 8th day,
God looked down upon the earth and saw that it was good. But was God happy?
No! God was still not happy! Because in the course of His labors, He had
forgotten one thing: He did not have a Marine uniform for himself. He
thought about it, and thought about it, and finally God satisfied Himself in
knowing that, well... not everybody can be a Marine!
My rifle (the creed of a United States Marine)
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